I don't know how many of you read the main Ensign article from August...I can probably safely bet that not many of you did because you're all married and it was about being young and single in the church. I highly suggest you read it even (or especially) if you are married.
I know that to many of you I am not that old, but in "Mormon World"...I'm only 9 months away from being a menace to society. Anyway....there were some very good suggestions to the married population of how to support singles and give them hope or how to help them stay positive in a world full of cynicism about marriage.
Honestly, this is one thing I've found that I'm becoming quite good at....being cynical about marriage/relationships.....and really about all of the mormon culture. To illustrate my point, let me share a story that happened not too long ago.
I had come home one sunday, from West Jordan, to go to my parents ward. In Relief Society, they welcomed me "back", asked where I was living then and what I was up to. I thought that was good. I was happy and enjoying life. It was good. Then after church....a woman came up to me and said "Where are you living now?" I answered, "West Jordan. I love it out there." To which she replied.. "Well don't worry, my son didn't get married until he was 28." My initial reaction was to play it off. But I couldn't believe that someone would go out of their way to say that! So instead of hitting her, like I really wanted, I just walked away and let my mom finish the conversation.
Its little insensitive comments like that that makes young single adults feel like crap or whatever. Who said I was worried about it!!? I'm certainly not. Of course I would love to be married and have the opportunity to start a family, but that is not the path Heavenly Father has in store for me at the moment. I HATE that in the mormon culture, if you aren't married before 23 years old, then something must be wrong with you AND/OR you are just terribly worried that it will never happen.
The Ensign article said last month, "When friends or family send messages to singles that they should "try harder", that they aren't doing enough to promote dating opportunities, or that they should think about happier things, singles may feel blocked rather than helped in their efforts to move forward to positive goals and interests." I would like to add my AMEN to that. In the article it also says, "Getting married is not the sole definition of success for singles." Amen to that too.
I know I'm going off on a tangent here, but as I read the article it really struck me that probably more NON-SINGLES need to read it instead of singles. I would also like to say once more, while I agree whole hearted with this article, my ornery-ness (is that a word) about it, doesn't mean I'm completely happy being single. I do hope to find a man to marry and start a family with. Some days I wish it was sooner than later. But I do know that I'm in a place where God wants and needs me to be, that is no ones business but my own and God's. But...while I'm happy with my life...it doesn't mean that I'm not open to being set up or having help in that department. Lol. So thanks for being supportive and for all that everyone does for me. I really appreciated your love and friendships.
I know that to many of you I am not that old, but in "Mormon World"...I'm only 9 months away from being a menace to society. Anyway....there were some very good suggestions to the married population of how to support singles and give them hope or how to help them stay positive in a world full of cynicism about marriage.
Honestly, this is one thing I've found that I'm becoming quite good at....being cynical about marriage/relationships.....and really about all of the mormon culture. To illustrate my point, let me share a story that happened not too long ago.
I had come home one sunday, from West Jordan, to go to my parents ward. In Relief Society, they welcomed me "back", asked where I was living then and what I was up to. I thought that was good. I was happy and enjoying life. It was good. Then after church....a woman came up to me and said "Where are you living now?" I answered, "West Jordan. I love it out there." To which she replied.. "Well don't worry, my son didn't get married until he was 28." My initial reaction was to play it off. But I couldn't believe that someone would go out of their way to say that! So instead of hitting her, like I really wanted, I just walked away and let my mom finish the conversation.
Its little insensitive comments like that that makes young single adults feel like crap or whatever. Who said I was worried about it!!? I'm certainly not. Of course I would love to be married and have the opportunity to start a family, but that is not the path Heavenly Father has in store for me at the moment. I HATE that in the mormon culture, if you aren't married before 23 years old, then something must be wrong with you AND/OR you are just terribly worried that it will never happen.
The Ensign article said last month, "When friends or family send messages to singles that they should "try harder", that they aren't doing enough to promote dating opportunities, or that they should think about happier things, singles may feel blocked rather than helped in their efforts to move forward to positive goals and interests." I would like to add my AMEN to that. In the article it also says, "Getting married is not the sole definition of success for singles." Amen to that too.
I know I'm going off on a tangent here, but as I read the article it really struck me that probably more NON-SINGLES need to read it instead of singles. I would also like to say once more, while I agree whole hearted with this article, my ornery-ness (is that a word) about it, doesn't mean I'm completely happy being single. I do hope to find a man to marry and start a family with. Some days I wish it was sooner than later. But I do know that I'm in a place where God wants and needs me to be, that is no ones business but my own and God's. But...while I'm happy with my life...it doesn't mean that I'm not open to being set up or having help in that department. Lol. So thanks for being supportive and for all that everyone does for me. I really appreciated your love and friendships.
8 comments:
Hurray on your test! I was worried for you when you mentioned it in R.S. And I'm with you...People are so bold nowadays and will tell you exactly what they think whether it be marriage or how to raise your kids! Have the time of your life and get married when you are good and ready :)
Way to go on your anatomy test...I really don't think I could remember everything you need to remember. I think it is interesting how people have advice on EVERYTHING in others lives. If it isn't on marriage it is on how many kids to have, how to raise your kids, when to have kids, what to use for your horrible acne (really did happen to me, wonder if it was the same woman who said that to you, it was in our ward also.) Enjoy your life and do all you want to. My sister didn't get married until she was 28 but she saw the world and loved it. Now she is home with 15 month old twins and one on the way. She probably won't be seeing much of the world now but that isn't her season in life now. When ever anyone gives advice remember to take it with a grain of salt (or punch them in the face-whatever makes you feel better-totally kidding). By the way, thanks for the tomatoes-they were wonderful.
I hear ya sister!! I was 28 when I got married and it was the right time in my life for that to happen. I am so grateful I was able to finish school and get some things accomplished before I had my kids. Looking back it was hard, lots of people telling me to hang in there, it was happen some day. Lots of tears shed on my part, but I would not change it for anything!! You are doing what you need to be doing right now. Good job on the Anantomy test!! I know how hard that can be. You should be really proud of yourself. I am!!
Katie
You are a doll. I just love your face! I will totally go read that article in the Ensign. I can't believe people say stuff like that to you. They are the ones with the problem. If it makes you feel better I am so tired of people asking me when we are going to have a baby. It started when we got back from our honey moon. Come on people! I love ya and if we were all the same the world would not be much fun. I love ya girl!
I don't see where it says how you did on the test, but everyone is congratulating you - so from me CONGRATS too. You know you have always succeeded in what you have put your whole heart and mind too.... and for now if it's being single and getting school out of the way - then - you do what is RIGHT for you - and I know that you are asking Heavenly Father for his help and you are following his promptings, cuz you are a BEAUTIFUL / Wonderful Daughter of God... (and you do what you are told).... Love ya tonz ((hugs))
Oh I hear ya Katie..but try being a 29yr old with a 6yr old, never married and living in UTAH and being a LDS member... the questions are bolder and more often. I enjoy life too...but just know that no matter where you are in life.. people are still going to be bold.. I remember people asking when my baby was due..and he was already 4 months old..lol..good times! Just know that your friends love you and you are doing so good in life..I am jealous.. seriously.
I love your rants! They always make me laugh! I wish that everybody else would stop worrying about what others are doing too. It is one of my pet peeves - like the keep up with the Jones thing, that doesn't exist outside of Utah like it does here. Crazy Utah Mormons! We need to worry about ourselves and let others do the same - amen to that one sister! Hope to see you tonight.
Yay!!! Amen!
I'm a single, Mormon, 24 year old girl without multiple kids and, whoa I know, who's not even married.
Don't worry, I get it all the time, too. It can be quite annoying but at the same time I just am grateful that I never missed out on the most important years of my life... the ones where I've been single, working, going to school, and just completely figuring out who I am! I would have chosen a completely different "gent" to marry 3-4 years ago than I would now. I have such different perspectives on marriage now :)
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